I was going through some of my old books I was going to give away when I came across one that I had never seen before. I have no idea how it came into my possession; maybe some elves left it my closet when I was passed out. The book is entitled The New Official Rules (Maxims For Muddling Through The Twenty-First Century) by Paul Dickson. The reason I am submitting this (aside from the fact that I need a life); is I felt I should share some of these tips that are sure make life easier for us all;(I almost completed that sentence with a straight face). If you don’t find them useful I hope that you will at least find them entertaining. I added a couple of my own so I don’t look like a complete plagiarist.
1. Box’s Rule – You should make a point of trying every experience once; except incest and folk dancing.
2.Smalik’s Law – A politician will always be there when he needs you.
3.Reynold’s First Law Of Politics – Politicians will act rationally only when all other alternatives are exhausted.
4. Quigley’s Law – Whoever has any authority over you; no matter how small; will attempt to use it.
5.Broome’s Revision – Cast your bread upon the waters and you will be accused of polluting the environment
6.Cooper’s Discovery – Life isn’t fair but neither is death.
7.Gilmore’s Warning – The worse the society; the more law there will be. In hell there will be nothing but law and due process will be meticulously observed.
8.Solomon’s Explaination – The only function of an economic forecast is to make astrology look respectable.
C.Baker – Whenever you are told that it is for a good cause; It always means that it is for somebody else’s.
– When someone says that it is worth the risk; they have already hedged their bets.
-Someone only states that it is time for us to make sacrifices when they know that they are exempt.