Monday’s laugh(the church bulletins)…by Theresa Bowman

By  | June 29, 2010 | 3 Comments | Filed under: Uncategorized

Submitted by Theresa Bowman

These are just some of the little cute mistakes made in some local  church bulletins.
The Fasting  and Prayer Conference includes meals

The sermon  this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching  for Jesus.’

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a  chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.  Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick  of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to  someone who doesn’t care much about you.

Don’t let worry kill  you off – let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will  not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For  those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery  downstairs.
Next Thursday  there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can  get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24  in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.</span></p>

A bean supper  will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.. Music will follow.

At the  evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come  early and listen to our choir practice .

<Eight new  choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new  members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are  saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds  will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation  in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church  will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious  hostility.

Potluck  supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.<
<The ladies  of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in  the basement on Friday afternoon.

This  evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the  Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.</span></p>

Ladies  Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are  invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

The  pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend  him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low  Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the  back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s  Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is  invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight  Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.. Please use  large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister  unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My  Pledge – Up Yours.’

3 Responses to Monday’s laugh(the church bulletins)…by Theresa Bowman

  1. Karen Junek September 20, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    OMG too funny!! Laughed so hard I had tears!

    Thanks for making my day brighter!

  2. Margaret Barr September 20, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    It IS too funny. I have read it a few times, since I first saw it , just to give myself a laugh. I”m wondering, though, is this the Ms. Bowman who has a son named Matthew???????????

  3. Thomas Vann September 20, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    l have to copy this for our Church folk. Hope they have an open mind. l may save some of them for when l get asked to speak.

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