I love music, all kinds of music…rock, blues, jazz, mountain music, R’n B’, classical, gospel; you name it I like it.
What other artistic form can either send one to tears or elation in three minutes?.. or give sustenance to a soul for months, maybe even years?
For example, it’s hard for me to listen to ‘Out of the Blue’ by the Band, or Brightman and Bocelli singing ‘Time to say Goodbye’ without coming close to breaking…same goes for Cash’s ‘Hurt’.
Why can’t I sing ‘I Have a Father’ in church, without stopping several times to compose myself.
‘Where Were You?’ in my teen years saved me from myself while ‘Hot Fun in the Summer Time’ freed me. ‘Beautiful Day simply brings me joy…sorry for the archaic word but it’s the word that’s most apt to capture my feeling when hearing that U2 classic.
‘Jumpin Jack Flash still lures me to riot while ‘At Last’ helps me to remain cool and centered.
How can music connect with us so powerfully in just a few short moments?
Anyway, that’s one end of the spectrum…the other is most dark indeed.
Some songs fail to connect with me in any way except to annoy me, antagonize and even rile me to prolific profanity.
What follows is a list of songs that bring out the worst in a man who is generally calm centered and loving.
#10: ‘End of the Word’ by Skeeter Davis; weak voice, weak melody, lousy lyrics, pure corn; I’ll hate it ‘til the day I die.
#9: ‘Yummy, Yummy, I Got Love in my Tummy’ by Ohio Express, who would rhyme yummy and tummy? A psychopath? Sadly this song is like a virus. If you hear it even once a year, it’s with you for months afterwards…like a bad run of the ‘trots’ I suspect.
#8: ‘Alone Again, Naturally’ by Gilbert O’Sullivan. This song is only for women, men striving to be women and the suicidal… it’s so sappy that it makes normal people want to join their ancestors.
#7: ‘Sylvia’s Mother’ by Dr Hook. Now the Doctor, looks like a rabid Hells Angel…so why the pleading, begging and groveling to Mrs Avery? Enough said.
#6: Long andWinding Road, by the Beatles. I hate to put the greatest collection of singer/songwriters in this negative article but the man who gave us Helter Skelter, Back in theUSSRand Drive my Car…has the nerve to give us this piece of orchestrated pablum? For shame Sir Paul, for shame!
#5: ‘Go Away Little Girl’ by the Osmonds. I don’t have to tell you why this song made my list if you’ve ever heard it. I loathe it all the more because I was making out in the back of an Olds as a late teen… and about to round second on my way to an inside-the-park-home-run, when this piece of mindless pap came on…reduced my date to tears (like how!) and cost me an important run.
#4: ‘My Name is Michael, (I Got a Nickel). This one riles me so much that I want to take out my frustrations on my fellow man…and puppies too!
#3: ‘Roses are Red’ by Bobby Bittman..er, make that Vinton. Actually not even Bobby Bittman, the cheesiest semi-star in Showbiz could have made what I consider to be the weeniest song ever in Rockdom less appealing.
Anyway, this song is about great loss and suffering, because I suspect that Vinton was mourning the loss of his penis.
#2: ‘Seasons in the Sun’ by the Poppy Family….Canada’s weeniest group ever.
Sadly Terry Jacks wasCanada’s Bobby Vinton and I already told you how I feel about Vinton. I believe ‘Seasons’ is our country’s most cringe -worthy song.
#1…and last, thank god, ‘Honey’ by Bobby Goldsborro ‘ and Honey I miss you…and I’m being good, and I want to be with you, if only I could’…crooned Bobby in a weak syrupy tremolo. The song is sappy, maudlin, sugary, sissified and dandified. In other words, GET ME THE FRICKIN GUN!
So there you have it, music’s dark side.
P.S. Here’s hoping even one of these monstrosities’ sticks with you for a week!