Scot has never been too shy to shout out, probably from the dense jungle of Newsie’s brain, that he’s a journalist. I wonder if you knew however that the dandified Mr. Ferguson-Barber was also a child actor of epic mediocrity.
No, he wasn’t the chubby little red-headed ass of the whole Partridge Family…that was a lesser miscreant named Bonaduce. Actually Scot-F-B played the role of the jaundiced, coon-skinned capped Scot Farcus in the holiday favourite, ‘A Christmas Story’.
Why Scot never brags about this is a mystery but he was actually quite decent as the demented bully named Farcus who terrorized the hero Ralphie and his pals Flick and Schwartz.
The part of the movie that I re-run ad nauseum, is when the bully (Scot) is pummeled soundly by the hero. Anyway Scot, it is my opinion that you should get your smoking jacket out of storage and join Drayton or perhaps Galt’s smaller Little Theatre or simply busk on the corner ofMain and Mill for tuppence, your choice.
Next, have you heard that Skating with the Stars has hired Rita McNeil to go on the show? She apparently is tired of the road and bacon rinds, ergo, she wanted a stay-put job.
I think Old Rita will be great as a tutu-ed ice dancer but I don’t know about her partner the bombastic Donald Cherry.
Apparently Don has it in his contract that he will be allowed to skate in a kilt, ‘el fresco’….to demonstrate his love for all things military and trans-sexual. We’ll clearly be able to see his, uh, better make it see that he’s nuts.
I don’t want to see him doing any spins that could make his kilt ride up, because I don’t want that ‘in your face guy’ uh, in my face with that prolific caber he brags about.
Don’t know about you but I feel sorry for Rita dancing with crusty old Donald, you see he’s packed on several pounds and is fast approaching 220….like how will Rita heave Don over her head for the finale? She’ll have to wear a lifting belt and heavy duty girdle for support I suppose.
Next, took my wife to Doc Mehan’s today; she came down with Strep Throat. I told her she’d look and feel a whole lot better if she’d discard the chills and fever, put on a lot of heavy makeup and some bright red lipstick, don a slinky party dress…and leave that sickly-grey look behind. If you want to feel sharp you have to look sharp….am I right?
She chose not to heed my sage advice …remains bed-ridden and consequently looks like hell! Why do I even try?
Last, I heard on CFRB that a study uncovered that women sometimes fake it. Apparently women are prone to fake organisms, er, orgasms because they don’t want their partner to leave them and try someone else who can hit the high note. Most men however guessed that they faked ‘it’ to assuage the make ego.
Guys, don’t buy into that one…when do women not want to have a laugh at our expense I ask? But in reality, it’s a wasted survey…everyone knows the female orgasm is a myth.
So, in closing, has a whiz at the Dr’s office today…flushed before I was done…as usual…it’s a guy thing right?
Like I said before, read Hags and learn stuff!